A bitter taste

A bitter taste left on my tongue

The kindness you stole from me
has left a mark behind
I didn’t mean to give it away so easily

I thought I was strong
that I could stand up for myself
I didn’t realize until it was too late

How did you get me to do that?
How did you push down my wall?
When did I hand over my will power
and fall cast to your spell?

Was it
your charming eyes, smiling at me?
Or was it
the way you teased me coyly,
convincing me you were playful and caring?

I didn’t see the deception

of course I didn’t
You skillfully hid your true self
possibly even from yourself
You seem so blissfully unaware
of your malicious ways
You’re clever and sharp
you have to be to know me that well
to know how to spill guilt into my heart
to drive me to do things for you
sacrificing my own happiness
to provide you with yours

What did you want from me?
I wonder
Was I simply a place-holder until your next victim came along?
a little unsure,
sweet and approachable,
you know the type.
You seek us out
(unconsciously?
A tiger after its prey, you wisely wait in the grass
patiently
You hold on your tongue
the perfect words
the right glance
just enough sweetness
to seem genuine

You can’t wow everyone
though sometimes you’ll try
Others see through you
I wish I had sooner
Instead I remain with my wounds
licking to heal them

My childish side seeks the deepest revenge
in ways that would never really bother you

I want to tarnish your name
call you out on your bullshit
tell the world who you really are
screaming from the fire in my belly

But would they listen?
would you?

Or would I be the one left standing alone
shouting in a craze
while you charm the crowd to your side?

So, no–
I stay silent instead.

Jumping into your fire won’t put away the flames
Standing back,
I watch you burn.
In the stillness, I remain protected

Photo: Bernard DUPONT